How To Build Your Own Anti-Democratic Political Website

Desert Observer’s page

Here’s a handy recipe that budding designers may find useful in their pursuit of an active and vibrant new website creation.

1.  Register your new website name in the Internet registration database on Tuesday. Select an alias name for yourself so you can remain anonymous. Use that alias in all your correspondence about the new website.

2.  Upload a skeleton design to your website and then fill a few pages with anti-Democratic political garbage.

3.  Send out email announcements advertising your new creation to local politicos and, of course, to lots of staff members at The Desert Sun newspaper.

4.  Wait while The Desert Sun newspaper reporter logs on and critiques your new website effort’s content.

5.  Review email from The Desert Sun newspaper reporter advising of errors and suggested corrections.

6.  Make changes to your website content to free it from error and thus enhance its credibility.

7.  Wait for Monday morning’s Political Insider column to appear in The Desert Sun newspaper.

8.  Read lead story announcing the debut of your new website – written under the oversight/supervision of the reporter who so helpfully critiqued your new creation.

9.  Notice the Internet address of your new website has been published in the newspaper’s article promoting your diligent efforts.

10. Sit back, have a martini and congratulate yourself on your exemplary accomplishment. You, an unknown entity, acting anonymously, have created a new anti-Democratic political website and managed to have its debut the subject of a newspaper story – AND they’ve even printed the Internet address of your creation. Your identity is secret and nobody knows whether or not you’re an employee of The Desert Sun newspaper. They took your offering, hook, line and sinker – just like fish bait – and didn’t bother to learn the identity of their source. They can’t even prove you exist! They’ve left no doubt about you for it’s clear you’re a genuine professional – and possibly the only one of that caliber sitting at their table.

Lest anyone question whether this report represents fantasy, it’s all based on fact. The numbered steps above represent a fairly descriptive recitation of events leading up to The Desert Sun’s publication of Monday morning’s “Mystery ‘Scoop’ slings Pettis dirt” story in its Political Insider column. One word of warning to other new website designers.  Don’t expect similar red carpet treatment from the newspaper if you’re planning on an anti-Republican political website. Your effort has to be directed against Democrats in order for you to merit their support and the free publicity.

Here’s a suggested new motto for The Desert Sun newspaper. “We don’t just report the news, we create it!

Bond Shands

Palm Springs

March 25, 2008


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